We had an arrange marriage when we were in our early 20s. This comes as a surprise to most because of how easily we got along.
Early on in our relationship, we decided to call each other “Aap” like our parents used to. As cheesy as it seems, this set grounds for our marriage as a partnership, with a lot of respect and love.
We are both equals in this relationship and help each other to become the best version of ourselves. Marrying young helped us grow into our personalities that can support and nurture each other. We hadn’t “settled” into the rigid life routines.
It gave us space to explore our relationship and adjust according to each other. Once you are married, each idea is an amalgamation of the combined efforts of two individuals.
We both do things together.
We have to inspire each other, listen to each other and support each other. We need to learn to compromise. For example, Humna is a morning person and does over all morning chores while I do all the evening chores. We worked through our set of challenges the same way.
I knew when we got married that I wouldn’t be able to afford the extravagant dinners and travelling. I felt this insane pressure to be able to support my family. I realised that our marriage and happiness was not dependant on where we go and how much we spend but rather on the time and experiences we make with each other. We realised that we work best as a team.
There were months when Humna was the sole earner of our house, and others when I took over. We planned our expenses. We preferred to go have thailay walla soup rather than celebrations at big fancy restaurants. We enjoyed our company. We built our trust and communication and today we are stronger than ever.